Let's cut to the chase. Online dating can improve your love life and it's a great tool if geography is an issue (or you don't go out much - although you should!). As long as it does not become the only way to meet potential mates, go ahead!
The best dating sites are, in my opinion, those who offer large pictures of candidates and potentially long profiles (ideally, in my opinion, those descriptions that the candidates write themselves - I am not a fan of check lists, I find them quite distorting and overall useless). Sure, you want to know if someone is a hunter or not if you are against hunting, or if someone is a smoker if you can't tolerate smoke, but a check list of favourite colour/s, favourite drink, etc is absolutely useless. Who cares what your potential partner's favourite colour is? You want to care about how you 2 are with each other, how you love each other, how you help each other flourish, how you comfort each other etc, not if his/her favourite colour is blue or yellow! Ok, this is perhaps an extreme example, but I hope you catch my drift!
Ultimately, are you searching for love or dating which reveals to be a waste of time? Isn't your time precious? At the same time, I dislike dating sites which give you very little freedom. Those where you answer questionnaires which never seem to end only to decide for you which person is a good match or not.
Don't be lazy! Your time will be wasted much more significantly along the line if you don't exercise your own judgement!
Worse still, sometimes you go through an endless series of questions and answers (all controlled by the dating site) before you even see the face of the person you are interrogating and are interrogated by. Yes, you've guessed it.
Such lack of control is not for me, since I believe my judgement is quite healthy and 'wise', especially nowadays; I therefore want to be the one choosing my potential mates and to formulate the questions. Above all, I want to see the photos immediately. I realize that we shouldn't pick someone just because they look good (that would be a huge mistake), but, at the same time, we cannot fool ourselves that, just because there is a match according to some website, we're going to have a long-term relationship with someone who is absolutely not attractive to us, not even slightly. Again, it's a waste of time, in my opinion, if one does not have full control of the online dating process.
That is why I choose sites where the profile includes long descriptions written by the candidate himself. I want to see how open they are (openness is a very important characteristic to be saught in a long-term partner), if they can communicate their feelings, hopes, fears to me.
Personally, if someone can't be bothered to write in detail about himself/herself, and just scribbles a few meaningless lines badly written, this person is not worth pursuing no matter how sexy he/she looks on a photograph. Similarly, if someone can't seem to put together intelligent, open and communicative emails for you, they're not, in my opinion, searching for 'meaningful' love.
If they can't be bothered to open up and expose who they are and what they are looking for, well, they're rather superficial or afraid of openness, or just mere lazy. Either way, not a great catch, right? So... next!
At the same time, if they don't publish a few photos of themselves, well, forget it, I say. Are they so, so hideous that they can't show themselves? Or are they so private? Beware of those who say 'oh, well, I hold such a top job that I cannot risk being found on this dating site, bla bla bla...'. Who are they kidding? Don't go on a dating site, I say, if you are so afraid of being 'spotted'! If you really want to give those 'hide and seekers' a second chance, namely if they approach you and you want to reply, just ask them to send you a link to their website (or their profile on Facebook, myspace and similar) with recent photos of themselves.
Don't fall into the time-consuming trap of giving them your email address so that they can send you their photo! In my opinion it's a trick to obtain your email address and, believe me, even after you've said 'no, thank you' they'll pester you to no end!
I don't want to sound callous. But there are a number of people whose goal seem to be that of wasting your time. Avoid them!
If you are serious about searching for love through online dating, you must avoid those who insist you must go for coffee immediately, without even trying to get to know you first, at least a little. Their excuse is that they need to verify if there's physical chemistry before pursuing this any further. Well, your answer could be that your time is precious and you don't want to spend the next ten years glued to Blenz Coffee's floors (or Starbucks') meeting a very long chain of unknowns for the first time. Chances are that you have nothing in common and the meeting will be awkward. Even if you both fancy each others' photos, well, what on earth do you know about each other to decide it's a good match?
When you 2 meet fact to face, check his or her SIGNS OF ATTRACTION to find out if she or he is attracted to you, so you won't have to go crazy trying to figure it out!
And, later on, if you two seem to truly 'hit it off', you may wish to find out the signs of Falling in Love - it also has insights into how to choose the right partner. It'll help your love search if you are actually seeking true love.
Hopefully the following tip is obvious to you all: do NOT meet the guy/girl for the first time (and second time, etc) in a secluded place or in his/her apartment! Come on! You do not know, really, enough about him/her to risk your life! And, even if, let's say, you end up having passionate sex on the first night at his/her place (or yours), and luckily he/she seems 'sane', why on earth would you want to invest so much of your emotional and physical self into someone you don't really know yet? Are you searching for love or are you just looking for a fix?
Find out more on ONLINE RELATIONSHIPS SECRETS
* useless - by this word I mean NOT contributing to your life and well-being, to your physical, mental, emotional or spiritual flourishing. Or, not providing the necessary emotional comfort that allows you to grow and flourish
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