Before you start your online dating adventure (a quest that may change your life, or at the very least, raise your personal thermostat) you should always figure out what it is you're hoping to find. Being clear and focused will help you not only select the best dating site for you, but also narrow in on the singles that will make you weak in the knees. To get to that point, you often have to ask yourself some tough questions. This can be a difficult task, but one that's not impossible.
Here are some tips on getting over that hump and finding your motivation.
Know your initial motivation:
Sure, everyone who checks out an online dating site wants to "meet someone," but going in with a vague notion like this might not be your best bet, as it can lead to a confusing start (and some potentially bad choices). Ask yourself what you want at your present stage of life, and what will make you happiest. Sometimes, if you allow yourself to be honest, you'll arrive at an answer that will surprise you. Writing out a brief list or personal journal might help you clear your mind of all the extraneous stuff and focus on what's most important.
How serious are you?:
This is the key question among many. Just how serious are you willing to be in this online dating experiment? Every single on any dating site is looking for something or someone. Most people are willing to make great changes to their lives in order to meet and live with their perfect match. Are you that serious? Are you ready to put in some effort creating and writing a profile, posting photos, and corresponding with other singles? If you're not, you might want to look at the less taxing social networking options (like Myspace and Facebook).
Relocation, relocation, relocation:
Once you've decided to give everything a go, you should ask yourself if you're willing to relocate. Some singles make it clear from the outset that they are only interested in meeting and corresponding with people in their region. Obviously, the more flexible you are the more chances you have to meet the love of your life, but this isn't always the case. Still, you never know, your perfect match may be living across the ocean in a foreign country.... whether or not you allow that opportunity to play out though, is your decision.
Does culture and age matter?:
Is it very important for you to meet someone of a similar background, culture or age? Answering these questions may save you a lot of time and energy (and money). Take the time to picture any possibility, and any potential conflicts you may have in the future should you meet someone of a different age or culture. Will this cause a familial problem? Will it make it hard for any potential relationship to prosper? On the flip side, if these issues are important to you, make sure you don't let them completely dominate your search. After all, you don't want to limit yourself unnecessarily.
Online friends or casual encounters?:
Are you just looking around? Hoping maybe to meet some new online friends? Or are you interested in casual encounters of the physical variety? The choice is yours, of course, but you should ask yourself what you feel comfortable with. If you can't picture yourself doing something, chances are you're not ready to look for it either.
The importance of being upfront:
Be careful to always be honest about your intentions. Remember, if you string people along and then don't come through, you're wasting time and potentially hurting other singles' feelings. Be honest, and let people know what you're looking for.
Online dating can be a lifeline for many singles. It can allow you to meet the love of your life, or new friends and hot new lovers. The possibilities are endless, and fittingly, it's right to have an open mind. Nevertheless, it's important to start off with a clear concept of what you're looking for, as this will only improve your comfort and confidence. Ask yourself those tough questions, and let the fun start.
Mitch Conway is the author of The Go-Getter's Guide To Finding Your Soulmate, the first dating guide designed to help singles save time and become more proactive at meeting people. To find out more, visit http://www.gogettersguides.com.
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