If you are single, you have no doubt realized the difficulty of obtaining quality material and advice on online dating. Site's that boast "Dating tips", "Profile Assessments", and "Dating Experts", astound us with their infinite suggestions on being single and successful at dating online, but leave us looking incredulously at their unrealistic point of view. There are good tips to be had, but at times most of us need real inspiration from real single people.
Dating online takes time and patience - it does NOT come quickly.
So... now that you signed up, what comes next? You completed your profile, repeatedly checked your spelling, thoughtfully wrote out your life's autobiography, posted one of your best photos and are waiting for your matches to fill your inbox... wait, that was 3 months ago!
So why is your inbox not flooded with prospective Soulmates? Online dating takes time and patience. Being without defect and lacking nothing essential to the whole; your perfectly created, newly posted profile is floating in a digital sea of other members with profile perfectionism. Just because you are listed in the directory, does not mean that anyone HAS to email or chat with you. As with anything else in life, if you want results YOU must take the initiative. Actively seek to contact those you are interested in. Technology can do many things, but even in this medium of online dating, social interaction is still left in our own hands.
Tens of thousands of people worldwide enter Internet dating sites everyday of the year, some are serious, some are not. When accessing online dating, it is your task not only to represent yourself in the best possible light but also to speak to those who are of interest and discourage those who are not.
When utilizing the dating services send well constructed opening greetings to people you are attracted to. What makes for a busy and productive online dating experience? Being kind and polite to everyone, have a good friend's list and utilize the email and messaging tools provided frequently. In other words, be confident and willing to use all of the communication tools at your disposal.
I have added some basics to help you out:
* Complete your profile f-u-l-l-y. There is no bigger turn off than browsing a members profile only to find a very thoughtfully written "ask me later" statement.
Okay, so you just joined to see if you would receive any responses and thought you would fill out your profile in more detail later, but in order to generate interest you have to attract someone first! Your prospective match wants to read about you this minute, not 3 weeks from now - by that time they lost interest in your profile and went on to profile #85 that took the time to be creative. Being enigmatic is not an attractive quality in online dating. An incomplete profile is the equivalent to sending a blank resume to a prospective employer - they both get trashed. So...be informative, be complete, be thorough, and above all... creative.
* Post a picture. Members with photos, are much more likely to receive replies than members without any photo image attached to their profile. Try to post more than one if you can, but even one photo is better than not having one at all. People like to know who they are communicating with, especially when viewing Personals, and especially when they have displayed their photo to you. People feel more confident and comfortable chatting with someone who is willing to show their face. Believe me; any photo is far better than none at all.
* Make sure your photos are recent (preferably less than a year old) and that you look happy. If they are not fairly recent then make sure you look the same. If your photo was taken when you were 25 and you are now 35, you are not only fooling others but also yourself. This is not to say that you shouldn't put a little effort into making your photo the best it can be. There are several sites that also help you achieve the best photos to place on your profile. But in the end, online dating is not generally about looks, its about honesty.
* You may have had a bad previous dating experience, but don't write a soliloquy on how it ruined your outlook - this will have the effect of making your prospective match look elsewhere. You do want to be honest in what your are looking for in someone and what are turn offs for you in a future relationship... But don't list them in such a way where you are turning dating into a job interview... and don't suppress or hide things that are part of who you are.
* Don't use swear words on your profile. They are generally offensive and really do turn people off.
When dating online, the main focus is keeping everything truthful. This does not mean dwelling on the fact that you haven't any friends or dates will win you new prospects. You must accentuate your best characteristics, emphasizing that you are a true individual with unique genuine properties. Small things shouldn't matter and often don't, but misleading someone does!
Be patient, it takes time to find someone special when using online dating sites and dating services. Think optimistic, and have fun!
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